How to Hear God’s Voice When Making a Decision

To get Jesus' help making a big decision, use this 500-year old process developed by St. Ignatius of Loyola. First reach a state of "holy indifference." Then weigh your options through the lens of eternity by sensing the movements of your spirit or spending quiet time with God using the two ways St. Ignatius describes.

What you'll Learn

When you're faced with a big decision, it can consume your thoughts and become all you think about. Or sometimes the opposite is true and you push it out of your mind and procrastinate until you're forced to make a rushed, last-minute decision you later regret. Instead, use this step-by-step guide that walks you through:

1. How to prepare your heart for holy indifference.
2. Ways to make a decision with Jesus.
3. What to do if you think you made the wrong choice.

Bookmark this post. You'll want it close at hand every time you make a big decision.

How do I tell if a thought is from God or just me?

The key to knowing if a thought is from God or you isdiscernment.St. Ignatius of Loyola, a 16th-century Spanish soldier-turned-mystic, laid out exactly how we can discern. And it's key to helping you make your decisions with Jesus.

These methods still work today because they don't ask you to stop thinking. They teach you exactly how to bring Jesus into the room while you do. If you’re sitting with a real decision, maybe a career pivot, a relationship, or a big move, this guide is for you. So let’s get started with the foundation.

What is the goal of Christian discernment?

The goal of Christian discernment is to help you choose what keeps you on the path to eternal life. Every decision gets filtered through that single north star. When you hold your options up to that light, what once felt impossible often becomes surprisingly clear.

Say you’re deciding between two job offers. One pays more, one aligns more with your gifts. The discernment question isn’t “What makes me happiest?” It’s “Which option better helps me become who God made me to be and allows me to serve the people He’s placed in my life?” That reframe changes everything. It moves you from anxious deliberation to a purposeful choice.

“The wisdom of a prudent man is to discern his way, but the folly of fools is deceiving.” — Proverbs 14:8

St. Ignatius built his entire method of discernment on the premise that keeping the end in mind is the first step in making a decision with Jesus. It's powerful in dissolving some of the anxiety and fear that might be clouding your ability to decide.

How do I find interior freedom when I’m afraid of choosing wrong?

Follow these five straightforward steps to find interior freedom when you're afraid of choosing wrong.

1. Set your goal. Take your eyes off this big decision and fix your gaze on eternal life and serving and praising God. It's the foundation for the rest of this process. Think of it like getting your priorities in order. St. Ignatius is challenging us to keep our eyes on the big picture.
2. Understand, whatever choice you make, everything will be fine as long as it accomplishes the goal you set in Step 1 of loving God and letting Him love you (for eternity).
3. Verify. Okay, this is a biggie. We want to make absolutely sure both choices are good. Not just good in your perspective, or your best friend’s perspective, but good from Jesus’ perspective. So take a moment to reflect on both choices. Are they BOTH genuinely good when you look at them through the lens of your eternal goal? Could either choice lead you into sin or away from the church? If so, then you already have your answer: Choose the decision that will NOT lead you astray. But if both choices are truly good then proceed to the next step in your decision-making preparation.
4. Pray. Once you’ve established both choices are good, now the key is to give them both a fair shot as you discern with Jesus. So ask Jesus to help you get to a place of indifference where you'll be equally happy with either choice.
5. Wait. If you think there’s even a chance you aren’t quite in a place where you could be happy with either choice, do not move onto the next step. Do not pass go. You have some praying to do. Keep asking Jesus to help you get to a state of holy indifference and give Him time to work. Because this place of freedom is key to making the best choice with Jesus.

Note: Indifference doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you are free in your heart to choose either option.

Preparation Steps for Finding Holy Indifference

 

In my experience, this preparation is the step most people try to skip, and I get it. Like the rest of society, we want answers now. But this indifference step is the whole foundation. Your key to success. If you move into weighing options while still secretly hoping God validates the one you already want, the process can’t do what it’s designed to do.

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How do you make a decision with Jesus?

St. Ignatius describes three experiences people often have when making a decision with Jesus: you just know, you observe the movements of your spirit, or you make your decision during quiet time with Jesus.

I call these "experiences" instead of "ways" because within the third "experience" of quiet time with God, St. Ignatius gives us two "ways" to do make a decision in quiet with God. Confused yet? Don't worry, I'll walk you through this with a deep dive into the three experiences.

1. You just know.

Everybody’s favorite, right? When you know, you know. This happens when God moves your will so unmistakably toward one choice that you follow without a doubt. This is the Paul-on-the-road-to-Damascus moment or the Matthew-at-his-tax-booth moment. If this has happened to you, you know exactly what I mean.But I'm assuming, if you're here, then you probably aren't experience this total gift of clarity at the moment, so let’s move on.

2. You observe the movements of your spirit.

St. Ignatius is known for both helping people figure out (discern) God's will and also helping us figure out which spirits are influencing us (the good to receive, the bad to reject). To identify these spirits, St. Ignatius teaches us how to observe the movements of our spirit through something called Consolation and Desolation. We'll take a deeper dive into exactly what these are and how to do this in a minute.

3. You make your choice in quiet time with God.

For this experience, when you feel close to God, you use the good mind God gave you to carefully, honestly, and in conversation with Jesus think through your options. But that’s easier said than done, so St. Ignatius offers us two ways to do it:

• A holy pros and cons list
• Changing your perspective

Think of them as two different ways you could choose to accomplish the same thing. You don’t have to use both. Choose the one that feels most natural or intriguing and go with it. I will walk you through exactly how to do both in a minute.

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Observing the Movement of Your Spirit to Make a Choice

What is the difference between spiritual consolation and desolation?

In Ignatian spirituality, consolation is when you feel on fire for the Lord while desolation is basically the exact opposite.

• Consolation. When you are in consolation you feel Jesus in the chair next to you, and you have the strong urge to pray, read your Bible, and spend time at church. When you do those things, you feel more alive than ever.

• Desolation. When you are in desolation, God feels far away. It’s difficult to get yourself to pray and when you do it’s boring. You don’t want to go to church and when you’re there you get nothing out of it. When you read your Bible it feels like time slows to a halt and God's Word feels empty.

Consolation vs Desolation

 

While it can feel like you're a "bad Christian" when you're in desolation, the truth is, we all experience both consolation and desolation in altering patterns throughout our spiritual life. It doesn't make us good or bad. Neither is a verdict on our spiritual health. Think of them more as weather patterns. What makes them useful for decision-making is that you can observe the weather patterns in your soul as you hold each option in prayer. When you observe how these movements respond in relation to the choices you have before you, it can give you hints as to where God is leading you.

How should I make a decision based on consolation and desolation?

To make a decision based on consolation and desolation, prayerfully sit with each option and observe the movements of your soul. Sit with Option A. Notice what happens in your soul over the next few days. Then sit with Option B and do the same. Eventually, you’ll notice a pattern where consolation is tied much more to one choice than the other.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

Let me illustrate this with a quick personal story. A few years back, my husband received a job offer in another town. It would require us moving from the place we loved where we were well established and had a great support system. While I love a great adventure, I was torn. Was this really the right choice?

When I thought about moving, my chest would get tight. I'd feel a disruption in my spirit and an unrest that told me desolation was trying to settle in. However, every time I drove down the hill into the specific town where my husband had the job offer, my heart lifted. I felt hope. It was an interesting clue to me that God was inviting us to move.

Likewise, seven years later, we had the opportunity to move again. Quite frankly, I wanted to move. Badly. I was tired of the town Jesus brought us to. But I got myself, or I should say Jesus got me, to a place of the best holy indifference I could manage at the time.

Then I watched the movements of my spirit.

When I excitedly spent hours researching houses, local schools, churches, and all the things you think about when considering a move, each time I came away feeling depleted. Sad. Melancholy on a soul level.

I was confused. Isn't this what I secretly wanted? To move away from this town. But God was speaking to my soul when my mind couldn't hear Him.Not yet. The timing isn't right. Stay here a bit longer.

Movements of the Soul

I've worked for years trying to learn how to recognize these movements of my soul. If you're interested in diving deeper, Father Timothy Gallagher literally wrote the book on it: Setting Captives Free. I read it back in 2014 and it taught me how to get started with discerning consolation and desolation. If you prefer to listen, in Father Timothy Gallagher's podcast he explains everything too.

Understanding the distinction between consolation and desolation is foundational to making a decision based on the movements of your spirit.

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Making a Choice During Quiet Time with Jesus

During quiet time with Jesus, you can use one of the two ways St. Ignatius gives us to make a decision:

• A holy pros and cons list
• Changing your perspective

What is a 'holy pros and cons' list and how does it work?

A holy pros and cons list works like a regular list except you sit with Jesus and evaluate every advantage and disadvantage through one filter. Which option will help you meet your goal of praising and serving God and having eternal life? And which will pose a danger to your goal?

Essentially, you are using the mind God gave you to make a pros and cons list for each choice. Here are the exact steps to follow:

1. Define your decision. During our preparation phase, you already made sure both your options are good. Now it’s time to define exactly what each option is.
2. Keep the end in mind. Remind yourself the goal is to serve and praise God and have eternal life.
3. Check for interior freedom.This is a time to dive a little deeper and inspect your heart for any places of interior un-freedom that might be hiding.
4. Pray for conviction. Ask God to move your will and give your soul a confident feeling of conviction about what you should choose.
5. Discuss the pros and cons with Jesus.For both choices, talk with Jesus about how they relate to your ability to serve and praise God and have eternal life.
6. Examine your reason. Think about which choice your natural reason inclines you toward. You started from a place of interior freedom. Perfect! Now which way are you leaning?
7. Choose. Okay, this is the moment! Make your choice. Just do it. Nothing is final yet, but you need to choose so you can move onto the next step.
8. Offer your choice back to God. With diligent prayer, offer God your choice and ask Him to receive and confirm it.

Some people journal through this process. Others walk and pray. Some offer it back to God at church. The format matters less than the honesty. If you'd like a free, small workbook that helps you follow this decision making method, fill out this survey and I'll send it to you.

So now you know the first way St. Ignatius gives us to make a decision during our quiet time with Jesus. The second way you can do this is changing your perspective, which is one of my personal favorites. Possibly because I'm a bit morbid!

How can I change my perspective to help me make a decision with Jesus?

St. Ignatius recommends three new perspectives you can try to get yourself outside your own anxiety long enough to see your decision more clearly. As you explore these different perspectives, use consolation as a compass.

The Stranger.

Picture someone you’ve never met sitting across from you facing this exact decision. You have no stake in what they choose. You only want what's best for them. What should they choose?

The Deathbed.

You’re at the end of your life. Looking back, which choice would have brought you the deepest peace…not the most comfort? Choose that.

Judgment Day.

You’re standing before God, both of you looking at this decision together. What choice would bring you the most joy in that moment of total clarity? Choose it.

Once you’ve landed on a decision, offer that choice back to God, not as a transaction but as a prayer. Then pay attention to how love moves in your heart and see if God confirms your choice. This final step is about holding your decision in an open hand rather than a clenched fist. You’ve done the work. You’ve been honest. You’ve chosen. Now you offer it back with trust.

If something is truly off, God is capable of redirecting you. But He tends to do that through circumstances, wise people around you, a persistent unease that refuses to settle, desolation. Not through one sleepless night of anxiety. So give yourself a few days to watch for how God moves. Grab my book Why Won't God Talk to Me? Surprising Ways He Already Is for help hearing God's voice in this step.

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Second Guessing Your Decision

So you’ve gone through the process. You’ve prayed. You’ve chosen. But now the second-guessing has started. That's relatable. The hardest part of a big decision isn’t usually the lack of options. It’s the fear you’re going to choose wrong and the worry afterward that you messed up. I’ve watched women, including myself, tormented by this fear. If you're a naturally anxious person this can be even more difficult.

Because making the right choice doesn't mean everything afterward will be smooth. The right choice isn't always the easy choice. When the going gets tough, the anxiety that follows can make you want to re-examine every decision you've ever made. But that's not discernment. That's the enemy using your own nervous system against you. Luckily, St. Ignatius gives us some great help here too.

Should I change my decision?

The first step in deciding if you should change your decision is to decide whether or not your choice is even changeable.

The Unchangeable Decision

Some decisions, once made, can’t be unmade: marriage, ordination, and certain long-term dedications to a specific career, calling, or profession. If the decision you are questioning is unchangeable:

• Recognize there is nothing more to choose. Even if you feel you chose wrong, the decision is made.

• Remind yourself that the goal is to praise and serve God and ultimately receive eternal life. This is still fully reachable from where you are. Your vocation is not your salvation. Your trust is in Jesus.

• Try to live the decision as faithfully as you can, even amid uncertainty. Grace can work within whatever you’ve committed to.

The Changeable Decision

If you’re second-guessing a choice that can still be revisited such as a job offer, a move, or a commitment not yet fully entered, St. Ignatius gives us four questions we can ask ourselves to decide if we made the wrong choice and a change might be in order.

How do I know if I made the wrong choice?

Doubt and discomfort alone are not sufficient proof you made the wrong choice, lack of a proper process is. So if you find yourself worrying you've made the wrong choice and you've determined your decisions is changeable, pause and ask yourself these four questions.

1. Did I make this choice in a prayerful way?
2. Was I feeling genuinely close to God when I made the decision?
3. Was I in a state of holy indifference and free from strongworldly attachments and my own sinful habits and tendencies when I made the choice? For example, was I influenced by the desire for wealth or approval?
4. Did I have my eternal life in mind when I made the decision, and were my eyes fixed on finding the best way to praise and serve Jesus?

If the Answer to One or More Question is No

Go back through the discernment process, this time doing it properly. Not as punishment, as completion.

If You Can Say Yes to All Four Questions

Let your decision be. There is no reason to re-examine a choice made with genuine interior freedom. Trust God, trust yourself, and lean into what you chose.

Don't overthink it. These four questions aren’t about perfection. You don’t need to have been in some mystical state when you chose. You just need to be able to say honestly you were trying to hear God, not just yourself. You weren’t choosing from a place of panic or spiritual dryness. You gave it time. You kept the right goal in mind. If that’s true, your decision deserves your trust.

And know that one of the tactics the devil often tries to use when we're in desolation and feel far from God is to make us start doubting decisions we made while we were in consolation and feeling close to God. So when you are in desolation, never ever change a decision you made while in consolation close to God.

What should I do if I feel like I made the wrong choice?

The question is not “Do I feel uncertain?” The question is “Did I follow the process?” If the answer is yes, I followed the process, then the feeling of uncertainty is not a signal to start over. It’s a signal to practice trust and lean into what you already chose.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

Remember my desire to move to another town but a discernment God is asking us to stay put for now? Some days I still find myself feeling antsy to move. I start worrying I made the wrong decision to stay. But then I remind myself I prayerfully went through the discernment process and God was at the center of my decision. That gives me confidence in my choice. We are right where God wants us to be. Even when it periodically doesn't feel great, I know God is always working for the good of those who love Him.

When is it time to work with a spiritual director?

If you don't have a spiritual director, reach out now to a local parish, Jesuit center, or a retreat house to find one. A spiritual director brings objectivity, experience, and spiritual accountability that’s genuinely hard to replicate on your own.

They can help you see what you can't recognize in your own thought patterns, particularly when attachment is clouding your freedom. They’re not there to make the decision for you. They’re there to help you hear yourself and sometimes to gently point out when what you’re calling “peace” is actually just relief from avoiding something hard.

St. Ignatius recommends that as soon as you start preparing to make a big decision it's good to speak to a wise, trusted, faithful friend or trained spiritual director, especially if you suspect you’re not in a state of holy indifference. Here’s why: sometimes just speaking your options outloud to someone who loves you and loves God tells you everything. You hear yourself say one option and your voice goes flat. You say the other and something wakes up. A good listener catches that.

God wants to be found.

Every step of Ignatian discernment is built on one quiet conviction: God wants to be found. He is not hiding from you. He is not testing your ability to decode cryptic signals. He is actively drawing you toward the life He designed for you, and He works through your desires, your prayer, your relationships, and your consolation to do it.

You will not get every decision perfect. Neither will anyone who has ever loved God and tried to follow Him. But if you’re bringing your decisions to prayer, keeping your heart oriented toward His glory, and remaining genuinely open to His direction, you are already inside the process. You are already being led.

The only real mistake is a decision made in haste with a closed heart. And that's not what you're doing. You wouldn't be here if it was. Use this clear process St. Ignatius handed you to make your decision with Jesus, and God will meet you where you are.

Remember to bookmark this post so you have it close the next time you're facing a big decision.

Further Reading

Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola — Loyola Press overview

What is Discernment of Spirits? — IgnatianSpirituality.com